How to Talk to Your Child's School About Learning Differences
Practical Parent Guide — 7 min read
Approaching your child's school about suspected learning differences can feel daunting. This guide gives you the confidence and practical tools to have that conversation effectively.
If you suspect your child has a learning difference such as dyslexia, ADHD, or another neurodivergent condition, approaching their school can feel intimidating. You might worry about being dismissed, about your child being labelled, or about not having the right language to express your concerns. This guide will help you prepare for that conversation and advocate effectively for your child.
The first and most important thing to know is that you have every right to raise concerns about your child's learning. Under the SEND Code of Practice (2015), schools in England and Wales have a legal duty to identify and support children with special educational needs and disabilities. Your observations as a parent are a valuable part of this process — you know your child better than anyone.
Before approaching the school, take some time to document your concerns. Keep a diary noting specific examples of your child's difficulties — dates, situations, and what you observed. For instance, rather than saying 'my child struggles with reading', you might note 'on Tuesday 15th, my child took 20 minutes to read a page that peers read in 5 minutes, and became visibly frustrated'. Specific examples are much more powerful than general concerns.
You may also want to gather any relevant information before the meeting. This might include a CogniVault screening report, examples of your child's written work, reports from any private assessments, information from other professionals (speech therapist, occupational therapist, GP), and your child's own description of their difficulties if they are old enough to articulate them.
The right person to speak to initially is usually your child's class teacher or form tutor. If your concerns are more significant, you can request a meeting with the school's Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCo). Every school is required to have a SENCo who is responsible for coordinating support for children with additional needs.
When you have the conversation, be specific and factual. Describe what you are observing at home and what your child has told you. Ask what the school has noticed in the classroom. Frame the conversation as a partnership — you and the school both want the best outcome for your child. Use phrases like 'I've noticed that...' and 'I'm wondering whether...' rather than making demands or accusations.
It can be helpful to ask specific questions: Has the school noticed any difficulties with reading, writing, or concentration? Has any initial screening been done? What classroom support is currently in place? Would a referral for further assessment be appropriate? What is the school's process for identifying and supporting children with learning differences?
If the school suggests that your child 'just needs to try harder' or that your concerns are unfounded, you are within your rights to push back politely but firmly. You can request that your concerns are formally recorded, ask for a meeting with the SENCo, request that the school carries out an initial screening, or request that the school makes a referral for a formal assessment through the local authority.
Understanding the graduated approach is helpful. Schools in England follow a four-stage process called the graduated approach: Assess (identify the difficulty), Plan (decide on interventions), Do (implement the support), and Review (evaluate whether the support is working). Your child should be placed on the SEN register if they need additional support, and an Individual Education Plan (IEP) or similar document should outline the specific support they will receive.
If you are not satisfied with the school's response, you have several options. You can escalate to the school's governing body, contact your local authority's SEND team, seek advice from organisations like IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice), contact the British Dyslexia Association or ADHD Foundation for condition-specific guidance, or arrange a private assessment to provide the school with clear professional evidence of your child's needs.
Throughout this process, remember that advocating for your child is not being difficult — it is being a good parent. The earlier learning differences are identified and supported, the better the outcomes for your child's education, confidence, and wellbeing. You are your child's most important advocate.
Want to bring evidence to your school meeting? CogniVault provides a screening report you can share with your child's school. Start screening today.
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